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This evening I had the misfortune to hear “Transgender Woman Never Cheats” by Thai artist Vid Hiper Rsiam.
According to Gay Star News the song tells the story of “a transgender woman who reunites with her best friend she fell in love with as a teenage boy”; but is in actuality the visual representation of a trans woman struggling with her affection toward a one time (and now again) aggressor.
The clip tells two stories featuring the main characters side by side; one set in the past, and one in the present.
In the past a young girl (who appears male at the time) pines for her friend (a cis man) as they share good times together. They ride bikes, they hang out, they even get matching tattoos. After he confides in her and falls asleep, the young woman leans over to kiss him. When he wakes he is furious, attacks her, leaves her face bloody and then stands to kick her while she is down.
Despite this the two are still upset when one has to move away. The narrative implies they are left without the chance to reconcile.
The present day story sees the two main characters (with the woman now presenting as herself) unknowingly reunite. They sleep together, part ways, then return for bed upon a chance meeting. During the second encounter he sees her tattoo and they learn of their past relationship. The man is infuriated and repeatedly pushes her away, even bloodying her head in the process. He raises his fist to hurt her, but sees affection in her eyes.
At the end of the clip his anger eases and they smile to one another.
This, apparently, is a love song.
The title of the song says it all: “Transgender Woman Never Cheats.” In that alone there are myriad implications which, while appearing to be passive, sympathetic and well meaning, makes a generalization about the loyalty of trans women to their partners. In any other context this might be considered a virtuous stereotype, but when applied to a story about a woman who is beaten and abused, loyalty in spite of herself is a dangerous and misguided thing.
Her gaze toward an abusive figure is sold as endearing and as a form of enduring love that sees beyond the violence he inflicts upon her. Throughout the narrative she is understanding of him, patient, and puts her own safety aside for the sake of his coming to terms with who she is. When he does harm to her she excuses it, accepts it as normal for a man who feels conflicted, and is waiting with open arms when his anger settles.
For the women who’ve been in similar situations, counting on the rage of an abuser to subside is not a certainty. For that idea to be sold on a mass media platform is a dangerous and irresponsible thing.
The message to trans women has long been made clear; that revulsion is the ‘normal’ reaction to our existence, that recognition of our beauty is cast into the land of fetish, that violence toward us is expected, and that our affection toward other human beings (in particular cisgender men) is justification for our being murdered.
There is no fault to be laid on women who have feelings for violent partners, but to call the violence part of a “love story” is a gross idealization of what no individual deserves from a relationship.
what a perfect example of the kind of shit we were talking about. yeah, thats totally not like really explicit serve the men shit and trans women totally dont get this shit all the fucking time our entire lives starting from when were young, on top of all the other misogyny everywhere. /bitter sarcasam
Look at these pathetic fucking notes. You’d be reblogging your asses off if this was another one about a cis woman. But you won’t see blowback for this shit going viral like it did for blurred lines, we just aren’t important enough.
Message: “Trans women, we found a niche for you to fit into as viable partners: find an abusive jerk, smile at every punch he throws, and your stockholm-syndrome-like loyalty will have us so endeared that we’ll look past your transness.”
All the other women in the video are not just walking away from this asshole but slapping him (repeatedly) and spilling drinks on his head. He is a creepy, violent fuck and everyone knows it and the song is literally saying “but the trans woman will be ok with it.” I hated everything about this the second I saw it. Also, i don’t know if the translation is good but the one i watched had “this fake woman” as referring to herself repeated about 50 000 times :(((
my friend just came to my house just to give me a single cupcake
i am suspicious
do not eat that cupcake, I REPEAT, DO NOT EAT THAT CUPCAKE
i’m going to dissect it i need to know whats wrong with it
under the cup cake
between the wrapper and the cupcake
was a tiny picture of nick cage
no bigger then my pinky nail